+++
slug = "letter-of-advic"
showonlyimage = false
draft = false
image = "portfolio/bridges/letter-of-advic/featured.avif"
date = 2023-09-25T19:40:58-04:00
title = 'Letter of Advice'
description = "A formal letter full of advice to Mina."
summary = ""
weight = 0
+++

> Published 2023/09/25 at 9:20 pm

## Interview

**10 Interview Questions**

- How do your hobbies or interests shape the people you spend time with in public?
- Can you share a moment when you felt out of place in a social situation, and how did you handle it?
- What kind of events or gatherings do you enjoy most, and why?
- Have you ever had to adapt your behavior based on the people you were with in a public space?
- How do your friends influence your social activities and interactions?
- Do you think your neighborhood or where you grew up has influenced your social identity? How?
- What's an example of a challenge you've faced when trying to fit into a new group or community?
- How do you use social media in your daily life, and how does it impact your social interactions?
- How do you express your social identity through your clothing, appearance, or personal style, and what messages do you aim to convey?
- Have you ever encountered stereotypes or biases related to your social identity, and how did you respond to them?

**Interview Audio**

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{{< details "**\>\>\>** This is the optimized transcript of the interview (Click to expand)" >}}
Q: How do your hobbies or interests shape the people you spend time with in public?
> I think it's because I spend a lot of time doing the things I enjoy. For example, in high school, I joined sports and clubs, so I met a lot of people, like my friends. Many of my friends are from the sports teams or clubs I joined. It's because I spend a lot of time doing those activities, so I naturally started talking to people who have the same interests. I think they also have similar experiences as me, so they can relate to my experience very easily.

Q: Can you share a moment when you felt out of place in a social situation, and how did you handle it?
> I think I'm personally more introverted. When I meet someone who is more extroverted, I tend to speak less because I get a bit scared. However, when I meet someone who is more introverted, I tend to be the one who talks more. I think, especially in a group of people who are super extroverted, I usually feel very out of place. But sometimes, I push myself to try to engage more, and I'm working on it. Another moment I would feel out of place is when I'm with friends from different cultural backgrounds. Back when I was in Shanghai, I had a few friends who didn't speak Chinese. Sometimes, I would talk to other friends who could speak Chinese when they weren't there. I never realized that it was kind of rude because they couldn't understand what I was saying, and they would feel very out of place. I didn't realize that until I met other people who spoke the same language as me when I didn't, and I felt that way too. That's an experience where I felt very out of place.

Q: What kind of events or gatherings do you enjoy most, and why?
> I really enjoy hanging out with a few close friends. While I do enjoy hanging out with a bunch of people and meeting new people, I think what I enjoy the most is having a movie night or going somewhere with my super close friends because I just feel so comfortable. I don't get stressed a lot when I'm just hanging out with a few people, as I'm supposed to.

Q: Have you ever had to adapt your behavior based on the people you were with in a public space?
> Yes, definitely. This is a very small thing, but I think whenever you're hanging out with a group of people and they have the same perspective on something, I'm really good at speaking with them or even just about celebrities or the music they like. If you know they don't like certain things, you tend to try to avoid talking about it. So, especially when I'm not super close with them, I'm always thinking, "What if I say this and they don't want to be friends with me?" I adapt a lot of my behavior based on who I'm hanging out with.

Q: How do your friends influence your social activities and interactions?
> My friends influence my social activities and interactions by sometimes inviting me to hang out with their friends. Even though I don't usually do those social activities, sometimes I think I should try it out and see if I like it. For example, one time, my friend wanted to go to karaoke, and I had never done that before. At first, I didn't want to go because I thought it was so embarrassing and didn't want to sing in front of everyone. But then I went, and it was very fun, so we went back. I think a lot of times, my friends can influence my social activities and interactions by making me try new things.

Q: Do you think your neighborhood or where you grew up has influenced your social identity? How?
> Yes, I definitely think so. A lot of my perspectives or what I believe in are things that I learned as a kid, and I think it's really hard for me to forget about those things and adopt the new things I've learned as I grew up. For example, the things my mom told me 10 years ago, just on a random day, I still think about. Sometimes, when I do something that goes against those beliefs, I feel so guilty. So, I think it definitely influenced me in a lot of ways, especially in terms of my social activities.

Q: What's an example of a challenge you've faced when trying to fit into a new group or community?
> I was struggling so much and trying really hard to fit in by doing things they liked. For example, I would watch TV shows they were talking about or start listening to music they liked, just to try to fit in. That usually doesn't work because they have been watching those TV shows their whole life or have been watching those cartoons since they were kids. I think that was very hard for me, but over the years, I learned that it's actually more interesting when you bring something new into the group and share that instead of forcing yourself to adopt what they like.

Q: How do you use social media in your daily life, and how does it impact your social interactions?
> I check my social media way too frequently, and I think I get very frustrated. For example, when I'm texting my friend and suddenly they don't reply, I start thinking, "Did I do something wrong? What is happening? What are they doing? Do they not like me anymore?" I overthink those online interactions more than when I'm hanging out with other friends in person. I tend to focus more on the interactions I have online because you can easily look back, but in the moment, it's harder to remember. Sometimes, I don't even remember things happening in person, but there's more evidence online. I think that is not a good thing, and I should try to focus more on living in the moment.

Q: How do you express your social identity through your clothing, appearance, or personal style, and what messages do you aim to convey?
> I don't think I have a really strong social identity through my clothing because, to be honest, I just follow the trends. It's true that I don't have a distinct social identity in that sense. I think my style or how I dress is really based on the people around me. For example, in high school, I would go to the places my friends all went to, so I really just followed the trends. I don't think I have a strong identity in terms of styling or appearance.

Q: Have you ever encountered stereotypes or biases related to your social identity, and how did you respond to them?
> Oh yeah, I definitely encountered stereotypes. For example, there are different beauty standards in Asia and Western cultures. In Western cultures, they want to be tanned, and I don't really care about that, but I was just too lazy to wear sunscreen. In Asia, people tend to prefer pale skin. Girls are told, "You need to be pale, wear sunscreen, and hold an umbrella when the sun is out." When I was in China, I remember a lot of people asking if I was Asian or not, even though I look Asian. They would say, "Oh, I'm surprised you're Asian because you're so tanned." I got really tanned one summer, and whenever I was with my friends, they would just assume I wasn't Asian, so they would talk about things in Chinese, but I could understand what they were saying. It was kind of awkward because obviously, here, they can tell I'm Asian, but in China or Taiwan, when I went back, they would say, "Oh, you don't look Asian," and I'm like, "I'm Asian. I look 100% Asian." I wasn't sure if I should be offended or if it was a compliment. I think I was just confused by that.
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## Letter of advice for Mina

Dear Mina,

Thank you for opening up in our recent interview about the difficulties you've faced fitting into both Taiwan and the United States after going to high school abroad. I appreciate you sharing so candidly about feeling caught between two cultures no matter where you go.

This is a challenging situation, but remember - your unique background is a gift! You have been exposed to different perspectives and ways of life that most people will never experience. The key is learning how to embrace both sides of yourself, rather than feeling you have to choose one over the other.

Try not to put pressure on yourself to conform to any one culture or friend group. As you realized in high school, the best approach is often to proudly share things from your own background to enrich your current environment, instead of solely trying to fit in. Appreciate and celebrate the diversity within yourself.

Realize too that everyone struggles with issues of identity and belonging, especially during the teenage years. Many of your peers, even if they appear to "fit in", are just putting on masks to hide their own insecurities. You have the chance to inspire others to embrace their uniqueness. Lead with compassion - both for others and yourself.

When you feel isolated or like you don't belong, try to shift your perspective. Instead of focusing on fitting in, focus on the chance to learn. Observe how others interact and communicate. Be curious. You have the incredible opportunity to build bridges across cultures and see the world in a way few people can. Every moment is a chance to gain insight into a new perspective. Lean into this mindset, and loneliness will fade into interest and empathy.

Remember that identity and belonging are complex, ever-changing things. You do not have to force yourself into a box or permanently choose one culture over another. Humans are wonderfully adaptable creatures, so have faith in your ability to gradually find your place, in Taiwan or America or anywhere else life takes you. It won't happen overnight, but little by little you will create a community and find activities and interests that excite you.

Most importantly, know that you are enough just as you are. You do not need to prove your worth to anyone. Stay grounded in your values, embrace the adventure of life, and let your unique identity bloom. The right people and opportunities will be drawn to your authenticity. Follow your deepest interests - whether that be art, music, writing, or anything else that stirs your spirit. Seek out new experiences that spark your curiosity. Stay open and eager to learn. Lead with empathy, compassion, and sincerity in all your interactions. If you do these things, connections and opportunities will naturally blossom around you.

Your rich blend of Taiwanese and American cultures is something to be proud of. You have an insider's view into both Eastern and Western worlds - their traditions, values, and perspectives. This is a precious gift if you embrace it fully. When you feel torn between two sides of yourself, remember that everything you've experienced makes you who you are. Your mixed background shaped your unique interests, insights, and talents. Let it be your guide as you navigate new environments, not something that confuses your sense of identity. Share the best of both cultures, appreciate the woven threads of your history that make you a vibrant tapestry.

You are at the start of a great adventure. Trust the journey! Have compassion for yourself and others, embrace the colorful mosaic within you, and life will reveal its wonders. I believe in you!

With love and encouragement,  
Nancy

{{< figure src="portfolio/bridges/letter-of-advic/letter-to-Mina.avif" width=480px caption="Letter of advice for Mina" >}}
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## Reflection

During my writing on the project, I found that this is the first time I have written such a formal letter full of advice to someone, and I have never written a letter and given such official advice before. Therefore, when I picked up the pen, I pondered for a long time and was a little nervous about what would happen if what I wrote offended my partner and what would happen if my suggestions were useless. Finally, I tried to listen to the audio of our interview repeatedly, and then started from what I felt most. I tried to empathize with my partner's difficulties, and what would I do if I were in her situation. And my mind just exploded from there.

Based on my suggestions to my partner, I began to use design thinking at my studio class. First, I defined the difficulties of my partner and the methods I gave, and then ideate them. The letter I wrote to my partner became a very strong basement for the define and ideation process in the design thinking for my studio class.

{{< figure src="portfolio/bridges/letter-of-advic/mindmap.avif" width=768px caption=" " >}}

For the making part of this project, I'm pretty good at origami, but I had a different feeling when I folded the envelope and put the letter in. When I first printed the letter, it was just a normal writing assignment, no different from the previous ones. But when I folded it and put it in the envelope, its state changed completely. It is no longer a simple assignment, but a real letter. It is my sincere advice to my partner.

The interview part, also the research part of the whole project, is the place where we really get to know each other. I‘ve been a little scared before a formal interview. I'm not a particularly social, talkative person, but as the interview progressed I tried to focus more on the problem itself rather than my own state. Concentration is a very magical thing, you will enter a state of "only the person in front of you is with you", so that you can better resonate with her, to understand her, to stand in her point of view to think, solve problems.

## Comments

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